Assumptions for Conscious Parenting
March 2008

Forgive me for talking about parenting a second month in a row. My passion for empowering people to connect with their children is working overtime.

Last month I gave eight benefits of using dialogue in front of your children. Upon reading my own thoughts, I realize that I may have placed the bar awfully high. Some of you probably thought, "I'm lucky if I can get my kid to put on their shoes, and he wants us to "dialogue" in front of our kids or with them." So let me back up…

ASSUMPTION 1:
Most of you reading this are already far better parents than you imagine.
--Your kids love you.
--Your kids need you to be strong parents for their guidance and their protection.
--Your mistakes are miniscule compared to the power of your connection with your kids.
--The universe has gifted you with a sacred and wonderful adventure of connection and nurturing of your offspring and growth for yourself.

ASSUMPTION 2:
Our parenting is heavily influenced by our own childhood story.
--Where we got stuck in our own development is where we get stuck as parents (Donna got stuck around the freedom to play and explore and had to stretch to allow our kids space to do so.)

ASSUMPTION 3:
We can become joyfully conscious parents that our kids will delight in.
--It's about seeing the places that are blocked in us…places of reactivity and fear…lost parts of ourselves (I grew up in a family of non-touching. I am just now feeling comfortable touching our kids.)

ASSUMPTION 4:
Our children desperately need to feel like they are enjoyed and valued by us.
--They need to feel celebrated and accepted for just being the amazing people they are.
--They need to feel our appreciation for the gift of having them in our lives.
--They need to feel protected rather than managed.
--CELEBRATED, ACCEPTED AND APPRECIATED, YES!!!! MANAGED, CRITICIZED, USED, NO!!!!

ASSUMPTION 5:
The best life model you can ever give your children is your own relationship as a couple.
--This means intentional time for just the two of you.
--This means more open affection.
--This means owning your mistakes and conflict.
--This means modeling the capacity for staying in connection with each other even when you are in conflict and do not agree.

It's not too late to come to our parenting workshop next weekend!

Two great books:
Giving the Love that Heals, Hendrix and Hunt
Parenting from the Inside Out, Siegel and Hartzell

With great encouragement and hope,
David and Donna

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